


underneath the unexpected

by justforfunforkicksforlaughs



Category: The Wilds (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Internalized Homophobia, Prom, shelby has the patience of a saint, toni’s an angry little bean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justforfunforkicksforlaughs/pseuds/justforfunforkicksforlaughs
Summary: When Toni's behavior finally goes too far, her Coach gives her a deal: be suspended from the basketball team or join the Prom Committee. Guess who leads that committee? Shelby fucking Goodkind.orThe High School AU where Toni realizes that she can't stop falling for the preppy blonde Christian
Relationships: Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe
Comments: 53
Kudos: 338





	1. Chapter 1

“Like hell I will.”

“Toni.” The warning is unmistakable in Coach’s voice. “Watch yourself.”

“You can’t be serious, though.” Disbelief colors Toni’s words. “You’re really telling me that this school doesn’t have enough preppy, white, _willing_ people to help with one of the most stereotypically American things ever.”

“That’s exactly what I’m telling you.” Coach meets her gaze evenly, but this time his eyes have a steely glint in them. “You will do this, Toni, or you know what the consequences will be.”

Toni huffs in response, tossing her backpack over her shoulder and stomping towards the door. Literally anything else – he could’ve given her literally _anything_ fucking else and she would have done it willingly. Doing the team’s laundry, cleaning all the restrooms in the building, sitting in detention for the rest of the month all sound about a million fucking times better than what she’s going to have to do.

“Toni.” She pauses but doesn’t turn around, waiting for Coach to say whatever he has to say so she can leave.

“From what I understand, meetings are going to be about two or three times a week. Shelby is going to be emailing you the rest of the details later, where you’ll be meeting and all that.” He pauses, his tone gentling. “Try to enjoy yourself, okay? It might not be as bad as you expect.”

“Whatever,” she mumbles before pushing her way out of his office, a small part of her relishing in how the door closes behind her with a resounding slam.  


Shelby. Toni assumes that’s the name of the girl who’s organizing all of this. It sounds vaguely familiar, and if she thinks hard enough she’d probably be able to place where she’s heard it from. But Toni doesn’t really care to think any more about a girl who’s actually serious, in like a non-ironic way, about creating a whole fucking committee for an event that everyone’s going to be too trashed to even remember.

She wants to scream. She wants to tear her hair out, to punch her locker, anything to escape the feeling of hatred and inadequacy that has crawled up her throat. It’s not just about the committee, not really – it’s also the fact that she can’t keep her mouth shut and fists down long enough to not fuck something up. And this time it wasn’t just herself that she’d put on the line but her teammates, her coach, their opportunity at a fucking state championship.

She bitterly recalls what happened. Yes, she was the one to initiate the fight, but the other girl wasn’t blameless. Not one fucking bit. They were competing in the quarterfinals of the playoffs against Greenfield, an equally scrappy team known for playing dirty, and the girl who was guarding Toni seemed to take particular pleasure in goading her.

“With legs that short would think you’d at least be fast.” The girl taunted. She’d been running her mouth from the get-go, clearly aware of Toni’s history with ejections and trying to get a repeat performance. Coach immediately noticed as well and pulled Toni aside during the first timeout, saying lowly – “You know she’s just trying to get a rise out of you. Be strong enough to ignore it.”

Except the girl’s comments only got nastier, and Toni didn’t have enough self-control in the world to justify her silence to that. She gave as good as she got, and at one point the two of them got so heated the refs had to physically push them apart and away from one another.

Coach took her out of the game after that, which she was secretly grateful for as she was about ten seconds away from her fist slamming into the other girl’s face. He put her back in several minutes later, though, when their lead cut to less than five and there were only three minutes left on the clock.

The girl, who’d barely taken a rest all game, stood waiting on the court. The barbs almost immediately resumed and Toni brushed them off the best she could, knowing the ire Coach would send her way if she got ejected minutes before the end of a game. 

But then she said it.

“I thought dykes were supposed to be fucking good at basketball.”

Toni can’t exactly recall what happened after that. She only remembers two things with absolute certainty: the utter satisfaction she felt when her fist hit home and Coach pulling her away, his nails digging almost painfully into her wrist. The rest was just chaos – a couple of Toni’s teammates, who had also become fed up with Greenfield’s underhanded tactics, joined the fray and began shoving at the nearest opposing players. Toni was dragged to the sideline and was forcibly restrained by Coach, who told her in no uncertain terms that if she got up he would bench her for the rest of the season.

It turned out it didn’t matter anyway, as once the division officials caught word of what happened, they suspended Toni and her two teammates for the remainder of the playoffs. It was almost lost in the chaos that once the dust settled and the referees ejected all the offending players, Crestview had won the game and was moving onto the semifinals. Not that Toni would be able to participate in it.

Coach, although absolutely furious at Toni for her behavior, seemed to understand that her bitch of an opponent also crossed the line and that without Toni, their chances at a title diminished considerably. So he worked his magic and somehow got part of their suspension revoked, so that if Crestview made it to the championship game, Toni and the two other girls would be able to play in it. But he told Toni that while officially she would be allowed to participate, he wouldn’t let her play unless she “showed some serious maturity and character development.”

And apparently that translated into making her join the most fucking useless committee for the most asinine high school tradition of all time. Prom. 

Her phone buzzes and she scowls as soon as she sees that she’s received an email notification. Speaking of the devil.

> Hi there!
> 
> My name is Shelby and I’ll be heading the Prom Committee this spring. I’m so glad to hear you’ve decided to join! It’s definitely going to be a lot of work and a learning experience for all of us, but with the rest of our team, I’m sure we can take things above and beyond. Meetings will be Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays in Mr. Harrison’s room as soon as school gets out, and they’ll last until we have prom. Let’s get this thing rolling! 
> 
> Shelby Goodkind

Toni rolls her eyes so hard she’s momentarily worried that they’ll stay stuck there permanently. When she’s confirmed that her vision’s still intact, she rereads the email with distaste, almost feeling the girl’s peppiness radiating through the screen.

_The rest of our team._ The words catch Toni’s eye. She hadn’t thought about the fact that there would be other members on this so-called committee, most of them likely being some of Shelby’s friends who are no doubt as obnoxiously preppy and annoying as her. The thought only further sours Toni’s mood, and she begins making her way out of the school, trying not to think of the hell that awaited her tomorrow.  


\---

Toni purposely drags her feet as she nears the classroom, trying to prolong the torturous fate that’s only meters away from her. She still couldn’t believe Coach is making her do this – what did he care that some girl didn’t have enough people in her little prom committee? Heaving a deep breath, Toni shoulders way into the room and tosses herself into the nearest chair, scowling.

There’re only two other people who have arrived before here, some jock wearing a letterman jacket and a girl whose face is obscured by a long pane of hair. Even with the entirety of her face covered, she looks awfully familiar, and recognition hits Toni like a freight train.

_“Marty?”_

The girl’s head jerks upwards, and Toni is shocked to see that it really is Martha. When Toni transferred to Crestview High two years ago, Martha became her first friend and is still the only close friend she has outside of her teammates. Toni thought she knew Martha pretty well at this point - but clearly not well enough. 

“Toni?” It’s almost comical how much Martha’s eyes bulge. “What are you doing here?”

Toni shakes her head emphatically. “No, what the hell are you doing here?” she gags. “You’re not seriously about to tell me you’re here willingly, are you?”

Martha flushes. “Maybe I am.” She crosses her arms over her chest defensively. “And why are you here?”

“Coach said he’d let me play in the championship game if I joined, so,” Toni shrugs. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here, even though I still don’t get why anyone would ever do this unless someone was dragging them there by the balls.”

The guy, who’s been scrolling through his phone with a bored expression, snorts. Toni glares at him. “Problem?”

“Nothing,” he lets out a bark of laughter. "That hit a little too close to home, that’s all.”

Before Toni can fire back, the door opens and comes in a tall, blonde-haired girl that Toni immediately recognizes. Her face, at least. It was plastered over all the walls of Crestview for nearly a month in September, with ridiculously corny phrases and puns underneath it that made Toni want to grab every single one of the posters and stuff them violently into the toilet.

“Hi y’all!” The girl beams. “Hey, babe,” she kisses the guy’s cheek, and Toni feels herself scowling instinctively at the sight. Toni reluctantly admits to herself that the girl is gorgeous, with hazel-green eyes and legs that go on for days, but she’s also not about to crush on a straight girl who literally epitomizes everything Toni hates about high school, so she shoves those thoughts quickly aside. “Thank you all for coming! I’m Shelby Goodkind, and I can’t wait to start working with y’all to make this the best prom that Crestview High has ever seen.”

_Shelby Goodkind. Shelby Goodkind._ Toni is really trying to place her name, she really is, because it’s so, so familiar now, when it suddenly hits her. That's the name of the girl on the morning announcements who fucking drones on and on about some mindlessly boring shit that Toni doesn’t listen a lick to. All she knows is that the girl literally always, always begins announcements with the same corny fucking phrase – “And I’m Shelby Goodkind, your student body president. Let's get this show on the road!" 

So those posters really did pay off, Toni realizes, half-amused and half-annoyed that people actually fell for those atrocious puns. It immediately vanishes when she realizes that it's the fucking student body president who's leading this, meaning there’s no way in hell Toni’s going to be able to slack off like she was planning. Not only that but based off of Toni’s overall impression of the girl so far, she’s probably going to be forced to drag her ass left and right to meet Shelby’s likely ridiculously high standards.

“So I think some introductions are in order,” Shelby is saying as Toni breaks from her thoughts. “Andrew, do you want to go first?”

The guy scoffs. “You just did it, but yeah.” He gives Toni and Martha a careless wave. “I’m Andrew, like she said. I’m Shelby’s boyfriend so I’m here as moral support.” _And nothing else_ , his tone seems to imply.

“Great!” Shelby continues on cheerfully as if her boyfriend didn’t just give the most painfully pathetic excuse for an introduction. “Martha?”

Toni’s eyes narrow when she realizes that Shelby knows Martha’s name. As far as she knows, Martha and Shelby have absolutely zero association with one another, but then again that wouldn’t explain why Martha is here.

“Hold up,” Toni rudely interrupts as she realizes something. “Is it just us?”

Shelby’s eyebrows furrow, and Toni hates herself for thinking about how cute that looks. “Sorry?”

“I said,” Toni emphasizes her words as though speaking to a toddler. “Is it just us? No one else is coming?”

“Yep!” Shelby shoots her one of her seemingly ever-present smiles, though this time it seems a little strained. “Just us four weathering the storm.”

Toni laughs. “Jeez,” she says sarcastically. “I wonder why anyone wouldn’t want to be a part of this. I mean this is the dream, right? Asking ourselves whether we should choose red or white balloons, debating if the punch bowl should be medium-sized or one of those gigantic ass ones that take up an entire table, gossiping about how Caroline finally, _finally_ said yes to Tom after stringing him and another equally unappealing white boy along for weeks. It all sounds like the fucking dream, doesn’t it?”

“Toni,” she hears Martha say warningly, but she ignores it, keeping her gaze intently fixed on Shelby’s. To her surprise, the other girl is wearing a neutral expression, her eyes meeting Toni’s evenly and without reservation.

“Actually, it won’t quite be like that,” Shelby says. “For one, there’s a lot of work involved, real work. So we’ll all really have to put in our best effort, because if we don’t, we all won’t get what we want.” She says the last part meaningfully, and it takes Toni a moment to understand what the other girl is implying.

That fucking bitch! Toni’s hands curl into fists and she grits her teeth, not dignifying that with a response. Shelby moves on, but Toni doesn’t miss the satisfaction that flashes through her face for the slightest of moments. Toni’s stunned – she can’t actually fucking believe that Coach told Shelby about why she’s really here, and not just that, but it seems the other girl will be helping decide whether or not Toni will be able to play in the championship game.

It takes all she has not to slam her chair onto the ground or flip the desk in front of her over. Instead, she stares daggers into the other girl’s face, completely ignoring her when she asks Toni to introduce herself and sitting in silence until Shelby dismisses them. She has no idea how long they were sitting there or what they were even talking about, because all she can think about now is how her fate now lies in the hands of some girl named Shelby fucking Goodkind.

How the actual fuck was she going to do this.


	2. Chapter 2

“Martha, Toni! Come on in.” 

It’s Thursday afternoon. School’s ended, sun’s shining, wind’s blowing just the right amount for a pickup game out on the courts. And what’s Toni doing? Stuck inside, doing the last thing she'd rather be doing and doing it with the last person she'd rather be with.

“So!” Shelby claps her hands together. She’s standing at the front of the room, dressed in a blue-and-white checkered shift dress that shows off her legs, and seems even more fired up than she was on Tuesday. Andrew sits near her, his legs tossed up onto the desk and looking as disinterested as ever. 

“I know I mentioned this already, but we really do need a set game plan.” Shelby begins as Toni and Martha sit down. “We only have two months left until prom, and y’all wouldn’t believe the number of things we have to do until then. So let’s get this started off on the right foot.” She points toward the whiteboard, where some kind of list’s been written in loopy script. Toni squints. 

1\. Choose a theme  
2\. Make sub-committees  
3\. Come up with fundraising ideas  
4\. Final thoughts & questions 

Toni barks out a laugh. She can’t help it – she told herself that she was only going to speak when absolutely necessary, waiting it out then getting the fuck out of there, but this can't be serious. “Sub-committees.” she says disbelievingly. “There’s fucking four people here.” 

“Just trying to divvy up work, that's all,” Shelby responds breezily. “And don't get ahead of yourself now. We still have to choose our theme first." 

"Great," Toni plops her hand into chin, meeting Shelby's gaze with exaggerated interest. Now that she's spoken, she doesn't really want to stop. “Hit us with it then, Princess." 

Shelby wrinkles her nose, and Toni inwardly scolds herself for finding another thing about Shelby attractive. "Don't call me that."

"Why not? I'm sure you're treated like one at home. Got like twenty pillows on your bed, haven't you?" Toni says, sickeningly sweet. "Your maid has to keep taking them off and putting them on every time she cleans and it's making her want to off herself, am I right? You know I'm right." 

"You know," Shelby steps forward, eyes fiery. It's the first time she's seen Shelby close to losing her cool, and it's even more gratifying than Toni expected. "This may surprise you, but I'm not all rainbows and sunshine like you seem to think. I've built over a hundred houses with my bare hands and I go hunting with my dad all the time. You don't know me, Toni."

"I take it all back then." Toni slow claps. "You kill defenseless animals and eat them for dinner – you're practically Mother fucking Theresa, aren't you?" 

"Toni, stop it," Martha shakes her head. "Just let her speak." Toni rolls her eyes but falls silent, also knowing that as fun as pushing Shelby is, it's not exactly doing her any favors at the moment either.

Because the fact still stands that Shelby fucking Goodkind now holds Toni's fate in her hands. For the hundredth time, Toni wonders how the fuck it happened. how the fuck Coach even knew Shelby, and how the fuck he trusted her enough to tell her about Toni's suspension and why he was making her do this. She's not sure whether or not to be impressed or annoyed that Coach had the balls to pull something like this off - she'd always seen him as someone with a pretty limited imagination, always adhering strictly to practiced plays during games and hating it when Toni went off on her own and improvised. 

She needs answers, but who the hell is she going to get them from? 

She pulls herself out of her thoughts just in time to catch Shelby shooting Martha a grateful smile. "Like I was saying, it's really important that we start this off by getting our theme down. I was looking at some ideas last night," she pulls out her phone and quickly scrolls through it. "Arabian looked interesting, Hollywood could be fun as well. And Disney, too - I'm just worried it might be a little too broad for us to really capture it."

"I like Disney," Martha says immediately, because of course she does. One of the first things Toni learned about Martha is that the other girl is fucking obsessed with Disney. Every time Toni goes over to Martha’s house, they’re always watching some cheesy Disney movie that has her wanting to tear her hair out with the number of times she’s seen it. Toni’s probably even got _Cinderella_ memorized by now.

"One vote for Disney, then," Shelby's smile diminishes slightly as her eyes flicker over to Toni. "And you?" 

"Oh, I was thinking this whole underwater thing," Toni says conversationally. "Bring in a shark for entertainment, live squid for food, and when the prom king and queen take the first dance, a whole bucket of a salt water's gonna come raining down on them just for the hell of it." 

"She wants Disney, too," Martha interrupts. Toni scowls.

"Great," Shelby looks like she's trying to hold back a laugh as she turns to look at Andrew. "Andy?" she prompts. 

"Oh, uh," Andrew looks up, clearly distracted by something on his phone. "The one she just said." Toni almost feels a little bit bad for Shelby - it's kind of pathetic as she watches the disappointment that flashes through Shelby’s face when she realizes her boyfriend’s been barely listening to a word she’s said. Toni momentarily wonders why Shelby’s even with him. The guy seems like an ass, a shit listener and even shittier boyfriend, not even defending Shelby when Toni went after her earlier. While Toni was definitely justified in her attacks, all she’s saying is that if she were dating someone, she would never have stood by and let someone talk to her girl like that.

"I'll say Disney too," Shelby says, breaking Toni from her thoughts. "So Disney it is then!" She grabs a marker and writes it in all caps on the whiteboard. "Now let's talk committee assignments."

The next part passes by fairly quickly. Andrew, out of all times he could’ve been listening, happens to be then and claims venue before Toni can. Martha predictably chooses decorations, probably already dreaming up all the frilly, fairytale decorations she’s going to plaster everywhere. Which leaves Toni with food. 

Fucking great. She wonders if she could get away with ordering a hundred pizza boxes and making Shelby pay for all of it. _Thanks for the delivery. Oh, the girl who made the order? She’s the one over there with the blonde hair and a smile so big it looks like it’s splitting her face open. You see her? Great._ She allows herself to bask in the thought for a moment, being able to watch as the smile on Shelby’s face transforms into unmasked horror as she tries to splutter her way out of it. 

It's definitely a nice thought. 

Shelby starts going on about fundraising, and this is when Toni zones out, because as little interest as she had in this, she has even less in discussing how they’re going to raise money for something Toni gives absolutely zero fucks about. But while she's not processing what Shelby's saying, her eyes can't help but be drawn to the way the other girl’s speaking, the sparkle in her eyes, the passion in her gestures, even the encouraging smile she gives Martha when the other girl struggles to put her thoughts into words. Toni feels her throat tighten and she swallows, tearing her eyes away from Shelby and onto anything else.

She puts her head on her desk and closes her eyes, giving up any pretense that she's listening. She doesn't even realize that she's fallen asleep until Martha shakes her awake in what feels like only moments later. "What?" she yawns, wiping at her eyes blearily. 

“The meeting’s over,” Martha has started to get out of her seat, slipping her backpack over her shoulders. “Let’s go.” Toni realizes that it’s just the two of them in the room – Shelby and Andrew must have already left. 

They’ve started to walk in the hallway when Toni realizes something. "Hey, I forgot to ask you why you’re even doing this." She's genuinely curious, the thought nagging at the back of her mind for the past couple of days. “Is she blackmailing you or something?”

"What?" Martha flushes. "Of course not. She just sits next to me in one of my classes and she asked if I wanted to join.” But the way she’s averting her gaze immediately makes Toni suspicious. 

"And you said yes?” Toni raises an eyebrow. “You probably barely know her." 

Martha shrugs. "I didn't see the harm in it, you know?" She’s clearly trying to play it off, and she only relents when she realizes that Toni's staring at her with narrowed eyes. "Fine. We're friends, okay?"

Toni reels back in shock. "You're what?" That's got to be a joke. She's never even heard Martha mention Shelby before this, much less seen the two of them walking in the halls together.

"We're friends! We have physics together right now and she helps me out a lot. You know how bad I am at science." Martha fiddles with her fingers. "She's really nice, Toni." 

Toni shakes her head, flabbergasted. “How the fuck could you be friends with her, Marty?" In her mind it just doesn't make sense - someone as down-to-earth as Martha being drawn to someone like Shelby, who's all toothy smiles and southern drawls and a million other things Martha isn't. "She’s literally so different from you. From us.” 

Martha throws up her hands. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. I knew you wouldn't get it." She resumes walking, and Toni catches up quickly, fingers catching Martha’s wrist and forcing her to stop again.

"How am I supposed to get it, Marty?" She’s still can't wrap her head around it. "The fuck you’re friends with someone like her for? She's literally some entitled white girl who thinks she can walk on water.” She pauses, the realization finally sinking in. “And she's literally just trying to take advantage of you." 

Martha's eyes narrow. "What're you talking about?"

Toni scoffs. "Don't you see it?" It's all starting to make perfect sense now. "She's using you, Marty. To her you’re some poor brown girl she's helping to satiate her white savior complex, maybe even write about you in one of her fucking college essays.”

“Stop it, Toni,” Martha glares at her. “You don't even know her.”

“But I know girls like her though!” Toni says it louder than she means to, but she doesn’t care. Martha's being taken advantage of by this girl, and fuck if Toni's going to let Shelby fuck over her best friend too. “This is what they fucking do. Pretend to put on a nice, big smile and act like they care about you, when they're just waiting for the moment that they get enough out of you so they can toss you. You know I’m right, Marty.”

“No, you couldn’t be more wrong if you tried,” Martha’s starting to look angry now, angrier than Toni’s seen in a long time, and the sight jars her than she’d like to admit. “You know, I wasn’t going to mention this, but since you seem to think Shelby’s such a terrible person, I guess I’ll have to prove you wrong. Do you even know why Coach Davis got your suspension revoked?” 

Toni rolls her eyes. “He realized that they couldn’t win without me, probably. And then he did what he had to do.”

“No, Toni,” Martha’s gaze has become hard. “The only reason you even have a chance at playing is because of Shelby. She and Coach Davis are pretty close, I guess, because they were talking one day and your suspension came up. Apparently Shelby convinced Coach Davis to give you another chance, just based off what she heard about you, and he agreed but said he’d only give you it if you said yes to joining her committee. So stop saying that she's not a good person, okay? Because the only reason you got a shot right now is her.”

Toni scoffs. She doesn’t believe that for a second. “Like that’s true.”

“It is! Do you really think Shelby would lie about something like that?”

“Actually, I do,” Toni replies. “Anything to dig her fingers in you even deeper than she already has. She’s clearly just trying to make herself look good.” But a flicker of doubt suddenly comes into her mind, as if this is true, it would explain how Shelby and Coach know each other and why Coach asked her to join the fucking Prom Committee of all things. But no fucking way Coach was ever thinking about not playing her. He needs her to get that championship, he knows that, so there’s no way in hell what Martha just said is true. 

“You know what, Toni,” Martha shakes her head. “I’m gonna go to the library for a bit. I’ll see you later.” She walks off, leaving Toni gaping after her. Did she and Martha seriously just argue over Shelby fucking Goodkind? 

Toni stomps towards the school doors, her head ringing. While Martha is definitely wrong about Shelby somehow miraculously convincing Coach to give Toni another chance, there's definitely some connection between him and Shelby that led to Toni winding up in this fuckery in the first place.

And she’s going to find out what it is.


	3. Chapter 3

Toni thinks this must be her new low.

Instead of sitting out in the sun and wolfing down the roast beef sandwich she packed so carefully this morning, she’s shoving her way through a bunch of teenagers, trying to catch a glimpse of blonde hair in a high ponytail. 

Shelby’s actually a fucking eel. Every time Toni gets close, the girl somehow slips out of sight, and then some broad-shouldered jock comes into Toni’s vision and makes her start all over again. Not for the first time, Toni wonders how their tiny fucking school could get away with holding this many students. No way in hell this isn’t some kind of safety hazard.

She roughly shoulders another person and scans the hallway. She swears she just saw a flash of that hair, and like hell is she going to let Shelby get away from her that easily. “Out of my way,” she snarls at a pasty-looking freshman and he stumbles away from her, terrified. There she is – that hair’s like a beacon in all of its annoyingly straight, blonde glory. “Shelby!” she says loudly. 

The other girl turns around. “Toni?” The surprise is evident in her voice. 

“Hey.” Toni just realizes that Shelby’s flanked by two other people, a brown girl with judgmental eyes and some chick wearing cargo pants. “Can we talk?” 

“This can’t wait until the meeting?” Shelby frowns.

“No,” Toni responds brusquely, annoyed that the other girl didn’t immediately say yes. She could ask after the meeting, sure, but she knows that Martha would immediately become suspicious of what she’s up to and she doesn’t want to deal with that conversation.

After a moment, Shelby gives her a brief nod. “Go on without me, okay?” she says to the other girls. They say goodbye and walk away, shooting Toni a curious glance as they leave. 

“So,” Toni wastes no time, crossing her arms and staring at Shelby defiantly. “I need you to tell me the truth.” 

“About?” Shelby raises an eyebrow before glancing around. “How about we move to the side first? We stand here any longer and someone's gonna run us over.”

She’s probably right – people are barely avoiding shoving into them as they walk past, some even sending them dirty glances, and Toni resists the urge to flip them off with a few choice words. “Fine.” They move near the lockers, Shelby watching her wearily, Toni feeling like her head is on edge of imploding. “Happy now?”

“Toni,” Shelby sighs. Up close, she doesn’t look quite as put together – her mascara is slightly smeared, concealer unable to fully hide the bags under her eyes. “You wanted to speak to me, remember? So if we’re going to have a conversation, I’d like it for once if we were able to speak civilly.” 

Her temper immediately flares. “I’ve barely said fucking two words to you so far.” 

“You know what?” Shelby smiles tightly. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” She begins to walk away, and Toni’s hand instinctively reaches out, grasping at Shelby’s wrist for the barest of seconds. It’s cool and soft under her fingertips, and she immediately jerks back, swallowing.

“Wait.” She’s not going to beg, but like hell is she going to just let Shelby walk away from her like that. “I’m not trying to argue with you, alright? I needed to ask you something.” 

“So what is it?” Shelby crosses her arms and stares back at Toni, gaze flat.

“How the hell do you know Coach Davis?” Toni’s jaw ticks. “I know you’re talking to him. I know you’re the reason I ended up in this fucking committee in the first place. Why?”

Shelby laughs. “You can’t be serious right now.”

“Does it look like I’m joking?” Toni steps forward, eyes blazing. “Tell me what the fuck is going on here.”

“There’s not some giant conspiracy, Toni,” Shelby looks amused. “You’re here because your Coach wants you to be. That’s all I know about it.”

“Bullshit,” Toni snaps back. “I know that you’re reporting back to Coach like the sneaky little spy that you are. You basically told me yourself at the first meeting. So tell me how the fuck you know him, because that’s the only fucking reason he stuck me in this hellhole with you.”

Shelby doesn’t answer for a moment, instead looking at Toni with a thoughtful expression. “You run so hot all the time,” she says finally. “Why is that?”

“What?” Toni grits her teeth. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?” 

“Nothing,” Shelby shrugs, shifting her weight so that she’s mostly leaning against the locker. “Just curious, really. I asked Martha, you know. After the first meeting. I wanted to know what you were so angry, why you seemed to hate me so much. And then I realized that it’s just not me you’re like that with, is it? This is just you.”

Toni scoffs. “Trust me, you’re at the top of the list.” Her fists are clenching so hard that she knows there’s no way in hell she’s not leaving marks. For the millionth time, she wonders why Shelby has to be so fucking annoying. She isn’t here to have some kind of meaningful psychological discussion about the way she is – she just wants some fucking answers. “Just answer the fucking question.” 

Shelby clucks her tongue. “Why not just ask your coach?”

“I’m asking you,” Toni’s lost all patience, and she steps forward until she’s almost nose-to-nose with Shelby, chest heaving. “Answer the fucking question.”

Shelby searches her eyes, and Toni realizes just how close she’s come to the other girl, how she can feel the heat of Shelby’s body and smell the faintest hint of her perfume. She slowly steps back, trying to calm the thudding that she can suddenly feel so acutely in her chest. 

“Fine,” Shelby says after a moment. “I know Coach Davis pretty well. He was my government teacher last semester, and my U.S. history teacher before that. I’m not real good at social studies and such so he helped me a ton when I went in for his office hours. I stopped by to say hello a couple of weeks ago and we got to talking a little bit. He mentioned he was worried about his team’s championship chances after his star player got suspended. I asked him who that was.” She takes a breath and suddenly avoids Toni’s gaze. “He said your name.”

“And?” Toni asks impatiently. 

“He said he wanted to play you in the championship game so badly but thought you’d never stop your on-court antics if there were never any consequences, so he said he was gonna sit you out. And I told him he shouldn’t do that.” 

“Why?” Toni looks at her, surprised. “You don’t even know me.”

“But I’ve watched you play,” Shelby’s still determinedly not looking at her, but the growing flush on her cheeks is unmistakable. “Without you, I didn’t think your team really had a shot. I told him that he could have you join my committee, since I really needed people and he wanted there to be consequences for your behavior, and in return he’d put you back in the lineup and up your championship chances. It was a win-win.”

Toni’s head is spinning as she tries to process everything. “You’ve watched me play?” Is the only thing she manages to come up with.

“Yeah,” Shelby admits. “Andrew was playing one night and I arrived a little early and caught the end of one of your games. I’m not even gonna deny it – you’re amazing, Toni. The passion that you had, your energy, I’ve never seen anything like it. And trust me, I’ve seen almost all of Andrew’s games.” She laughs quietly. “So when Coach Davis mentioned it, I thought to myself I wouldn’t mind having someone like you on the committee. Someone with that kind of fire. Guess I should’ve prepared myself for much it’d be.” She looks away again, breaking their gaze. “You know the full story now.” 

“I-” Toni stops. She doesn’t really know what to say – thanks for doing that? Thanks for talking to Coach, thanks for convincing him to play me but in return putting me on your fucking prom committee? There’s nothing she can think of saying at the moment that would be good for either of them, so she closes her mouth, thinking.

So Martha hadn’t been wrong. Shelby had no reason to lie – at least not to Toni – and everything she said lined up with what Toni already knew. She still can’t wrap her mind around the idea that Shelby’s the only fucking reason she still’s getting a chance to play in the championship. It’s bizarre, it’s mind-boggling, and it’s embarrassing for more than a couple of reasons. 

And then there’s the fact that Shelby had apparently watched her play. The fact that Toni was special enough for Shelby to remember her, to remember her name when Coach had brought it up. It’s not the first time Toni’s heard it – a lot of her coaches, teammates, classmates have complimented her on the drive and passion she has for the game. But hearing that from Shelby – it stirs more things in her that she’d like to admit, things she doesn’t want to delve into now or ever.

“Lunch is ending soon, so I’m gonna go.” Toni pulls herself out of her thoughts as she realizes that never responding just put them in awkward silence. “I’ll see you in a few hours.” With that, Shelby walks off, Toni watching her go, internally flailing as she wants to say a million things but also never have to say those things out loud.

She half-wishes she never found this out.

\---

Toni doesn’t do regret. For as long as she’s been alive, there’s been no room for it in her life. She learned the hard way that regret is something that just pulls you down into an abyss that takes years to climb back up, and the only way to get fucking something out of your life is to just go, go, go. No hesitation. No doubt. That’s why she doesn’t give a fuck about what happens when she doesn’t censor herself, when she uses her fists a little too much, when she hasn’t shaved her legs in three months and some people start to whisper when she passes them in the halls. She just doesn’t fucking care. Life has a plan, and wherever she’s supposed to end up, she’ll be there.

But this. This situation with Shelby is something beyond what she’s expected. She doesn’t regret her behavior, the way she treated Shelby and all of the shit that happened along with it, because she acted based on what she knew at the time. But now she feels awkward, stranded on a space that’s between consciously thinking about what she says to Shelby and still not giving a fuck about how Shelby feels. It’s like the weirdest fucking oxymoron of a situation – in her mind, she now feels like she owes Shelby a debt, but at the same time, it’s fucking because of Shelby that she’s literally spending more than half her weeks now doing something that genuinely wants to make her kill herself. 

So this is what she decides to do. 

“Great!” There’s no hint of the flustered Shelby from a few hours before as she looks around the room, peppy and obnoxious as ever. “Now that we’re all here, let’s talk about some fundraising, because getting ready for a prom is gonna cost money that we just don’t have.” 

There’s immediately like ten nasty replies that pop into Toni’s mind, but she pushes them down and tries to ignores them. This is going to be harder than she thought. 

“Like we already talked about last meeting, I think Martha’s suggestion of a bake sale was just perfect,” Shelby directs a brilliant smile towards Martha, who blushes. “Everyone’s got a sweet tooth, and we just have to milk that for all it’s worth. Make posters about it and put them all over school,” Toni’s jaw ticks as she already imagines all the fucking baking puns. “And post it all over social media, of course. Now, I’ve got the money from the school to pay for the baking costs, but the preparation and selling is all gonna be up to us. So I really need y’all’s best efforts on this one.” 

“Sounds good,” Toni nods, and she barely stops herself from reacting when Shelby and Martha turn their heads at the same exact time to stare at her, both sporting shocked expressions. “When’s the sale gonna be?”

She’s almost impressed with how quickly Shelby composes herself. “I was thinking next Friday if that was okay with y’all? Give us enough time to get all the materials, do the baking, promote the sale, all of that.”

“Jesus, Shelbs,” Andrew interrupts before anyone can respond. “How much time are we spending on this?”

Shelby smile falters slightly. “Well, our usual meetings, of course. And I’m afraid we’re gonna have to add a little bit of time outside of that as well. Can’t exactly bake in school, can we?”

“Christ,” Andrew runs a hand through his hair, looking annoyed. “You know I have a game coming up, Shelby. I can’t be making fucking cupcakes and cookies when I need that time to be practicing.”

Toni rolls her eyes. “Are you serious right now?” Andrew turns around to glare at her, and she’s stares right back with equal venom. “I play a sport too, buddy, and I still manage to squeeze this in with practice four times a week. That’s a lame ass excuse to get out of something if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Alright!” Shelby hastily intervenes before Andrew can respond. “Now, how about we do this then? Andrew, you get the materials for the bake over the weekend and drop them over at my place, while Toni and Martha, you two and I’ll be in charge of the baking. And all of us will be doing the sale on Friday. Sound good?”

Andrew keeps his gaze locked on Toni’s for a couple more seconds before turning back to Shelby. “Works for me.”

“Same." Toni says brusquely. She hears Martha agree behind her, but she’s really just thinking about that flicker of relief she saw on Shelby’s face when she was telling off Andrew, and gives herself a pat on the back. On track.

“Martha, Toni, are y’all okay with clearing out your evening on Thursday?” Shelby asks apologetically. “We’re gonna be baking like nuts for at least a few hours most likely.”

“Sure.” As much as it’s paining her to act like this, it’s almost worth it just to see the way Shelby’s eyes go wide and her mouth drops slightly open, clearly stunned that Toni had agreed so easily. Martha stares at Toni with a similar expression, but a hint of a smile begins playing at her lips a couple seconds after.

“Yeah, no problem.” Martha responds belatedly.

“Y’all are amazing. Thank you so much,” Shelby beams at them, Toni grimaces back. “Now, let’s talk about how y’all are doing on your committee assignments. Toni, have you looked at any vendors yet? Because I was thinking…”

Toni closes her eyes, taking a deep breath then holding it. She can do this. 

It’s just one week.

Just one. Fucking. Week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if it wasn’t super clear, what toni’s decided on is that she’ll be nice to shelby for a week, and after that she’s gonna go back to being her usual irascible self. as always, thank you for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

“Toni!” Shelby’s voice rings through the kitchen. Strands of blonde hair are falling out of her ponytail as she makes her way over, her eyes wide with horror. “You can’t mix it like that!”

Toni scoffs. “Are you serious?” She doesn’t know if she’s more annoyed by how anal Shelby is being or how good the girl still manages to look with her hair all disheveled. 

“Let me show you.” Before she can react, Shelby leans forward and gently grabs her wrist. Her hair brushes the slightest bit over Toni’s shoulder as she begins moving their joint hands, saying, “Key is start at the edges and move your way into the middle. Got it?” The familiar scent of her perfume makes its presence known, and Toni tries and fails to ignore the swooping sensation she suddenly feels in her stomach.

“Yeah,” She manages, too shocked to say anything else. Shelby releases her and smiles brightly before leaving the kitchen, probably going back outside where she and Martha are working. They moved there after Toni nearly hit a second tray of muffins over, Shelby citing a need to give her “some creative space.” The only thing that kept Toni from snapping back was that promise. 

That fucking promise. This past week, being nicer to Shelby, actually seeing her under the assumption that not everything the girl said or did was complete shit – it was a strange fucking experience, to say the least. There were moments when Shelby was exactly what she’d originally thought, some preppy little princess who’d had shit handed to her on a silver platter her entire life. But other times, unexpected times, she wasn’t. Like when she didn’t hesitate to bandage up Martha’s leg after she tripped in the hallway, even though there was enough blood to make even Toni wince. Or how she’d spent nearly three hours after class on Tuesday hanging up posters around school, which Toni only saw because she’d stayed late for practice. Or when Shelby subtly blackmailed Andrew into staying in the bake sale after he gave some half-assed excuse, sweetly saying what a shame it’d be if his dad found out he'd failed his last three calculus quizzes. Toni rarely admits she’s wrong, but Shelby seems as much a fighter as she is a princess, except her weapon isn’t fists and cutting remarks but flinty smiles and a sharper twang to that southern drawl. It’s a side of her that Toni can actually appreciate, which is a shame because it only makes its appearance every so often. 

Toni allows herself to relax once the other girl's gone, taking the moment to wearily observe her surroundings. One of the last things she wants to be doing is spend time in Shelby Goodkind’s house, but they couldn’t exactly bake in school and Toni sure as hell wasn’t going to offer up her foster home, so they’re here. The kitchen is no different from the rest of the house – it’s gaudy, pristine, and so carefully manufactured, from the perfectly polished countertops to the line of family photos that lie in plain sight. Toni’s not sure if she wants to gag or break something just to ruin it. 

One photo in particular catches her eye. Curious, she drops the whisk and moves closer to get a better look. It’s a group photo of Shelby and a few other girls standing out in some sort of dirt field. Shelby’s particularly close to a girl with curly brown hair, arm wrapped tightly around her while beaming into the camera in a way Toni’s never seen. It piques her interest, but before she can examine it more closely, she hears someone scream.

Toni’s head immediately jerks towards the direction of the backdoor, and she makes her way over quickly, wondering what the actual fuck is going on. To her surprise, she's met with the sight of Shelby caked in flour and Martha clutching her stomach, laughing so hard it looks like she’s seconds from crying.

Toni steps forward slowly. “What the hell?”

“Martha!” Shelby splutters. She’s frantically trying to brush all the flour off of her clothes but to no avail, and Toni bites back a smile at how ridiculous the other girl looks. “Are you serious?” 

“I’m sorry!” Martha says between laughs. “It was an accident, I swear.” 

Toni's incredibly fucking annoyed that she doesn’t have her phone on her right now. Shelby probably hasn’t look more unkempt in her life – face flushed, eyes wild, shirt completely ruined, roots of her hair drenched in flour. It’d make for the blackmail material of a lifetime.

“Your face,” Martha’s gasping for air at this point. “You should’ve seen your face.” 

"Jesus, Marty," Toni says, amused.

Shelby’s eyes are starting to narrow dangerously. “Oh, you’re in for it now.” She grabs a handful of flour from the bag and tosses it towards Martha. Unfortunately for her, Toni is standing in that same direction.

“What the _fuck_ , Shelby?” Toni wipes flour from her face and glares at the other girl, and she’s gratified to see that Shelby’s face is slowly turning into one of horror.

“That was meant for Martha!” Shelby says hurriedly, but she’s smart enough to begin backing up anyway. Toni decides that she’s been more than nice enough this week to deserve a little reward, especially if it’s going to present itself like this, so she lunges across the table, grabs two handfuls of cocoa powder, and throws it as hard as she can. In a matter of seconds, the three of them are running around the patio, ducking and screaming as flour and powder and sugar is hurled across the air. Toni’s not going to deny that satisfaction she feels when her cocoa meets its mark several times on Shelby's face. 

Things quiet considerably a little while later, and they’ve taken to hiding in various places around the backyard, waiting and watching. Toni’s crouched behind one of the bushes, bag of cocoa powder in hand, when she sees something dart out from behind the playground set and sprint towards the wooded area at the edge of the backyard. Toni immediately gets up and follows, because no fucking way is she going to give up an opportunity to pour an entire bag of this shit on top of Shelby Goodkind’s head.

“Toni!” Shelby shrieks once she realizes Toni’s following her. “You do realize the real enemy here is Martha, don’t you?” 

“How's that?” Toni’s gaining ground now; within seconds she’ll be at the other girl’s heels.

“She’s the one who started this whole mess," Shelby's clearly running out of breath, but she still manages to get the words out. "I couldn’t give up without a fight, you understand.” 

“Well, you’re gonna have to understand this.” Toni’s so focused on getting the bag raised that she fails to notice the tree root protruding out from the dirt path. Before she knows it, she trips, cocoa powder flying out of her hands as she collides into a warm, solid body that breaks her fall. 

“Shelby!” Toni freezes and stares down at the girl below her. “Are you okay?” Her heart begins to pound when Shelby remains still, face planted into the ground and arms unmoving at her sides. Jesus fucking Christ, Toni may not be the biggest fan of the girl, but knocking her out or worse was most definitely not part of the fucking plan.

Just seconds before Toni’s actually about to lose her shit, Shelby’s body starts to move. More relieved than she’d like to admit, Toni opens her mouth to apologize when her entire vision goes white and the taste of flour fills her mouth. 

Spluttering, Toni wipes at her eyes and stares down at Shelby, who’s flipped onto her back and is laughing hysterically. “Seriously?” 

“Like you weren’t about to do the same to me.” Shelby’s smiling so wide her eyes are crinkling, and Toni’s instantly reminded of the picture she saw earlier, of Shelby and that girl and that genuine, uninhibited smile that she didn’t really think Shelby was capable of. 

Until now.

Toni rolls her eyes and tries to wipe off the remaining flour off her face, but she knows there’s no way she got it all off. “Fuck you.” she says sullenly. 

Shelby chuckles. “Think of it as payment for how you treated me when we first met.” She leans forward, and for the first time, Toni realizes how close they are, how she’s able to count the freckles on Shelby’s cheeks and see flecks of hazel in her eyes. “Granted, you’re a lot better these days, but in the beginning you wouldn’t let me get a word in.” 

Toni’s barely listening anymore. All she can think about now is how she can feel the warmth radiating from Shelby’s skin and the softness of her legs as they brush against her own. How Shelby looks like some kind of fucking warrior princess with her blonde hair messily tumbling over her shoulders, the cocoa powder dotting her face strikingly like war paint, and the unrestrained emotion glittering in those bright green eyes. How Shelby looks more disheveled, wild, _alive_ than Toni’s ever seen her, and she’s enraptured by the sight, the realness of it, of seeing Shelby for the first time with the masks and barriers completely stripped away.

“Here.” Toni’s jerked out of her thoughts when she realizes that Shelby’s hand is reaching towards her. It settles on her cheek, and it takes everything she has to not visibly react as Shelby’s thumb brushes gently over her skin. Their eyes meet for the slightest of moments, and it’s electric and consuming and a million things Toni doesn’t want to name. Shelby looks away first, clearing her throat. “You missed a spot,” she says quickly. “It’s the least I could do, right?”

“Yeah,” Toni responds hoarsely. Her head’s dizzy, heart pounding so loud she’d be shocked if Shelby couldn't hear it. She's screaming at herself to get up, but she feels completely thrown off-balance, uncertain in a way she’s never felt in her life. _Do I really want to get up?_ She opens her mouth, to say something, anything, when someone beats her to it.

“Toni? Shelby?”

“Here!” Shelby calls out, and she pulls herself up quicker than Toni would’ve thought possible. “We’re here, Martha!” Toni tries to ignore the pang of disappointment and follows suit, forcing a neutral expression onto her face as Martha approaches them. 

“Why the hell is your backyard so big, Shelby?” Martha huffs. She’s in almost as bad shape as the two of them, flour and cocoa powder mingled in her hair and shirt nearly unrecognizable with all the shit it's covered in. “It took me literally forever trying to find you guys.” 

Shelby laughs, and it’s jarring to hear how different it sounds from a few minutes ago. “Sorry.” 

She and Martha start walking, but Toni lags behind, her mind swimming in thoughts she doesn’t even want to begin to examine. 

Because she’s finally done it, hasn’t she? The one thing she promised she would never do, the one thing she knew would irreparably damage her heart, the one thing she's done everything in her power to deny these past few weeks. 

She’s fallen for a straight girl.


	5. Chapter 5

“One time!” Shelby throws her hands in the air. “Just one frickin’ time!” 

“Jesus.” Toni stops what she’s doing and looks up, alarmed. This may be the first time she’s seen Shelby actually lose her temper – the other girl’s began to pace up and down the floor, running a hand through her hair as she stares daggers into her phone. “What’s up with you?” 

“Andrew,” Shelby grits her teeth. “He’s not responding to any of my calls or texts.” 

“So? He’s got…” Toni checks the time. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Shelby’s lips tighten. “I can’t believe him.” 

“He’s got a little bit,” Toni says, very halfheartedly. 

Shelby scoffs. “He’s got five minutes.” She shakes her head. “He always does this, you know.” 

“Does what?” There’s probably a bit more interest than necessary in her voice, but she doesn’t care. The fact that Shelby is aware that her boyfriend’s a dickhead – it’s a little too compelling for Toni to ignore.

“Just,” Shelby waves a hand in the air. “Not following through. Not caring. All of it.” She doesn’t expand on it any further, and Toni watches her, wondering what the hell had happened in the past for her to sound that bitter.

Not that Toni’s going to complain. If Andrew disappears off the face of this earth, she probably wouldn’t blink an eye. Granted, she has her own reasons for wanting him gone, but it doesn’t change the fact that Andrew is an actual fucking asshole. Toni didn’t particularly like him from the start, but the more time she spent around him she saw what a dick the guy really is. He could barely get off his ass to do anything, pays zero attention to Shelby unless he was leering at her chest, and snapped so hard at Martha the other day he nearly made her cry. Shelby deserves someone better than him, someone who’ll actually show up for her, someone like – 

“Toni!” Shelby waves a hand in her face. “Can you keep setting out the cookies, please?” 

“Yeah,” Toni flushes, and she’s never been more grateful for her tanned skin in her life. “I’m on it.” 

“Please.” Shelby’s face has smoothed over into impassivity as she begins putting out plates. “We’re shorthanded as it is.” 

Toni doesn’t respond, opting to work in silence until she hears her phone vibrate. It’s Martha, and she’s asking for help bringing in some of the containers into the school. Toni inwardly groans – she was literally out there five minutes ago, but it’s not like she’s going to leave Martha hanging. Just as she opens her mouth to tell Shelby where she’s going, she gets another text. 

“What the hell?”

“What is it?” Shelby peers over her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Toni frowns. “Martha asked me to help her carry in some of the boxes into the school, then literally two seconds later she said she’s got it.”

“Martha’s stronger than she looks,” Shelby busies herself again. “I’m sure she’s fine.” 

“Right.” Toni says skeptically. After they got themselves cleaned up after their impromptu bake fight yesterday, Shelby forced them to bake for nearly four hours straight. Toni doesn’t know exactly how much they made, but she knows it was enough that it had her wondering how the fuck they were going to bring that all into the school. 

But what was really on her mind the entire time was how fucking stupid she was. Her realization last night about Shelby was as untimely as it was terrifying - she’s already had way too many experiences being burned by people who didn’t like her back, and fuck if she’s going to let it happen again. So she won’t. All she’s done is admit that she’s attracted to Shelby, but that didn’t mean she had to do shit about it. The second prom is over, she’s going to fuck out of there and forget Shelby Goodkind ever existed.

But that doesn’t mean it makes things now any easier. 

The doors to the school slam open, and Toni immediately looks up, ready to go help Martha if she needs it. To her surprise, Martha’s not even carrying anything, just walking awkwardly alongside Andrew, who’s sauntering in with the rest of the boxes.

Bile immediately rises in Toni’s throat at the sight of him, and she looks away, setting the cookies on the table with more force than necessary. 

“Shelby!” She hears Andrew drop the boxes on the ground. “This looks great, babe.” 

“Where were you?” Shelby’s voice is flat. “I called you like ten times.” 

“Something came up,” It sounds like he's trying to be apologetic about it, but it comes off more flippant than anything else. “I wasn’t checking my phone. Sorry.”

“Do you even care, Andrew?” He begins spluttering out a response, but Shelby cuts him off. “Not here.” The two of them start moving away, and Toni leans forward, trying to pick up what they’re saying. “I mean, I don’t even know where to start. You’re forty minutes late, you can’t even text me back to tell me where you are – I’m so sick of it. You promised you’d try, and you’re not trying. If this happens again-”

“How’s it going over here?” Martha moves over next to her. “Looks like you guys got a lot done.” 

“Yeah,” Toni’s out of earshot now, so she turns towards Martha and gives her a small smile. “Shelby was losing her shit about Andrew not showing up the whole time, but guess he finally got off his ass.” 

“Yeah.” Martha starts talking about how Andrew suddenly showed up in the parking lot, but Toni’s barely listening, her gaze drawn again to Shelby, the way her face is pinched in annoyance, her hands curled tightly at her sides as she speaks. To an outsider she likely looks as composed as ever, but Toni recognizes how tense she really is, and it gives her this inane desire to go over and make sure she’s okay.

She shakes it off and helps Martha set out the rest of the containers. Shelby and Andrew join them a couple minutes later, both silent and stone-faced, and Shelby pointedly pulls up a chair between Toni and Martha, forcing them all to scoot down a bit. Toni raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say anything.

People start to trickle in, and Toni double checks the time, because she could have sworn to god it was only a little after seven. It is – she’s annoyed when she realizes that Shelby was right about people arriving early, and even more annoyed when she realizes that there are actually people who willingly show up to school a fucking hour before it starts. What the fuck is going on in their minds, she doesn’t know. 

As it gets closer to first period, people begin swarming in, a surprising number stopping to buy something. Or maybe it’s not that surprising – Shelby made sure to attach the brightest fucking banner possible to the front of the table. That combined with the million pun-infested posters hanging from every wall of the school, you’d probably have to be blind to not be aware of the bake sale happening today. 

And her teammates most definitely aren’t. A couple of them stop by, and Toni wonders what kind of fucking low her life has hit as they tease her mercilessly. She’s Toni fucking Shalifoe – the captain of Crestview’s basketball team, one of the best point guards in the state, feared by people both on and off the court. And now – now she’s a suspended player, a member of a fucking prom committee, and has a crush on the girl who put her on said prom committee. 

She really is fucked up. 

Flipping her teammates off as they leave, Toni turns around to give Shelby the money. “Here,” she says gruffly. 

“Thanks,” Shelby takes it, a curious glint in her eyes. “Were those your teammates?” she asks after a moment. 

“Yeah,” Toni rolls her eyes. “Fucking charming, aren’t they?”

“They’re certainly something,” Shelby says diplomatically. “I didn’t realize they were giving you such a hard time for doing this.”

Toni waves a hand. “It is what it is. They all know that I have to do this for Coach to lift my suspension, so.” She watches the other girl hesitate. “What?”

Shelby takes a moment before speaking. Toni looks at her curiously – she’s never seen the other girl unsure of anything, but this may be coming close to it.

“I wasn’t trying to make your life difficult,” Shelby says finally. “By making you join this committee.”

“Well, you kind of did.” Toni says it without any malice, but Shelby’s frown deepens anyway. “But I also wouldn’t even be having a shot without you, so let’s call it even.” 

“It’s just,” Shelby runs a hand through her hair. “I guess I have a tendency to do that. Make people’s lives difficult, I mean.” 

Toni watches her carefully. “What’re you talking about?” 

Shelby’s eyes dart around. The crowds have died down a bit now, most people standing in groups around the lockers or making their way down to class. Martha is laughing with someone, a girl who Toni vaguely recognizes to be one of Martha’s friends, while Andrew is pocketing cash from someone who just bought what looked like a boatload of brownies. Toni makes a mental note to make sure he hands that cash over to Shelby later, as she wouldn’t be surprised for a second if he kept it for himself. 

Shelby sighs, and Toni directs her attention back to her. “Andrew,” she says quietly. “He thinks that, at least.”

“He’s an idiot,” Toni says immediately, because he is. An absolute fucking idiot. She tries to temper the anger that’s starting to curb inside of her, because Shelby looks like the energy’s been completely sucked out of her, and that look just doesn’t belong on her face. 

“But maybe he’s right,” Shelby laughs hollowly. “If it makes you feel any better, you’re not the only person I forced into joining. Andrew and I were in a really bad place for a while, so to start mending things I asked him to join.” 

Toni snorts, unable to help herself. “That was your way of mending things?”

“Let’s just say he needed to do more mending than I did,” Shelby smiles tightly before averting her gaze. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.” 

Toni shrugs. “It’s whatever.” She honestly doesn’t mind. Hearing Shelby shit on Andrew – it’s something that she could listen to all day. What she doesn’t like is how pathetic the other girl looks. This isn’t Shelby – Shelby Goodkind doesn’t look like she’s just entered the fifth stage of depression; she’s annoying cheerful, bright and full of a relentless energy that touches everyone whether they want it or not.

Toni ignores the warning bells at the back of her head as she mentally prepares herself for what she’s about to do. 

She’s already lost it - might as well go for a little more.

“Have you ever punched somebody?” Shelby, who had gone back to working the table, turns towards her, startled. The kid who’d been buying something looks at Toni fearfully before scrambling away, cookie clutched tightly in his hand.

So maybe she hasn’t completely lost it.

“Sorry?” Shelby looks at her again. “Have I ever what?” 

“Punched somebody,” Toni leans back in her seat. “You know, when your hand hits someone’s face, chest, leg, arm. Any of that.” 

“I can’t say I have,” Shelby says wearily. “I’m not going to punch Andrew if that’s what you’re suggesting.” 

Toni tries not to roll her eyes. “I wasn’t, but that’s definitely your loss,” she continues on before Shelby can interrupt. “I have. As you probably already know – that’s why I ended up on your fucking committee. And it’s a great feeling, really helps release some of that aggression you got pent up in you.” She tries not to laugh at the appalled expression that’s forming on Shelby’s face. “But here’s the thing. Punching people tends to not go over well, so I’ve taken up something one of my shrinks suggested once.” She grins wickedly. “Kickboxing.” 

“Kickboxing?” To Toni’s surprise, the other girl snorts. “It’s clearly not enough, is it, since you still punched that girl.”

“Touché,” Toni smirks. “But you’d be surprised as to how many more I would’ve punched if it weren’t for kickboxing. Picture the face of whoever’s pissing me off the most at the time on the punching bag, and the need to do in person is gone. Mostly.” 

“So you’re saying I should picture Andrew?” Shelby looks torn between laughing at the idea and actually considering it. 

Toni shrugs. “Think about whoever you want, but all I’m saying is it helps.” She hesitates for a moment, gathering up the courage for what she’s about to say next. “If you ever feel like doing it, I can take you.” 

“Really?” Shelby looks at her, clearly surprised. “You would do that?”

“Why not?” Toni says it a lot more nonchalantly than she feels. “Coach is friends with the guy who does the class, so I basically get in for free. Sure they wouldn’t mind an extra person joining.” 

“That’s really nice of you,” Shelby smiles at her genuinely, and the warmth in her gaze turns somersaults in Toni’s stomach. “Thanks, Toni. I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Sure,” Toni clears her throat, suddenly aware of how lightheaded she feels. And how fucking stupid she is. She turns back towards the table and changes the subject. “So how much money we’ve got so far?”

Shelby begins shuffling through the bills, but Toni doesn’t really pay attention, instead trying to get a grip on herself, closing her eyes and breathing in, out. In, out.

But the nagging feeling in her chest won’t go away, and it reminds her of what she’s doing, who she’s dealing with, and why the fuck it’s such a bad idea. 

_Stop digging yourself so deep._

\---

The end of the day comes around, and Toni’s never been more relieved for it in her life. She’s fucking exhausted – they were selling in the morning and afternoon, and she feels like she’s about to gag with the number of pleasantries she was forced to exchange so that people would buy something. She wonders how the fuck Shelby can act like this regularly without wanting to tear all her hair out. 

On the brighter end, it seems that that they hit their quota. Shelby estimated that they raised a little over three hundred dollars from the sale, which is more than enough for the food and decorations and other crap they’d have to buy. To be completely honest, Toni is surprised – she didn’t think that people would really be into buying a bunch of shit they could get at the store for half the price, but it seems that Shelby’s posters actually paid off or people just really fucking love brownies. Either way, their success has them all in a good mood at the moment, though Toni wonders just how long that’s going to last before someone inevitably says something to ruin it.

Now they’re wrapping up the sale, Toni gathering all the empty cardboard boxes and flattening them so she can throw them out. Shelby and Martha are sorting out everything that’s left into a couple of containers, and Andrew as usual is nowhere to be seen. Toni rolls her eyes. 

“Hey,” she looks over at the other girls. “You guys need anything thrown out?”

“Yes, please,” Shelby grabs the stack of plastic containers on the table and hands them to her. “If you could take these, I'd really appreciate it.” 

Toni acquiesces and starts slowly making her way over to the trash can. It’s been a long fucking day – she’s so ready to go home, throw off all her clothes, and take a ten-hour nap. Being part of a prom committee really shouldn’t be this much fucking work. 

She’s starting to throw out the cardboard boxes when she hears a familiar voice from behind her. “Looking good, Toni.” 

Toni flips her intruder off without turning around.

The other girl sidles up next to her, mock-affronted. “Is that how you greet a friend?” 

“Only the annoying ones,” Toni flashes her a small smile. “Hey.” 

“Hey yourself,” Fatin grins back. She’s dressed as impeccably as ever, in some designer shirt and jeans that probably costs three times Toni’s entire wardrobe. “How’d the bake sale go?”

“Well as it could,” Toni shrugs. “Thanks for showing up, by the way.”

Fatin pouts. “I wanted to, babe, but I was running late this morning and after school I had to stop by McBryer’s room.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Toni’s not actually upset; in fact, Fatin’s face is a welcoming sight after an entire day of dealing with mostly unfamiliar ones. Not that Toni would ever say that to her face.

“So,” Fatin claps her hands together. “You doing anything this weekend?” 

Toni sighs. “Fatin…” 

“Come on,” the other girl rolls her eyes. “You seriously can’t be holding that over me forever.”

Toni doesn’t respond, instead focusing on shoving the rest of the cardboard boxes into the trash. The last time she spent time with Fatin, she got so drunk that she couldn’t remember one fucking thing that happened that night. There’s literally nothing Toni hates more – she doesn’t mind partying, but keeping her mind about her is a basic ground rule she has for herself as an athlete. And getting blackout drunk is not that. 

But maybe she shouldn’t have expected anything less. She and Fatin met about a year ago at a party, and even then, Fatin was wild as fuck. The other girl had zero inhibitions getting drunk as possible, hitting on many people as possible, but as Toni quickly found out, that fearlessness also translated into sharp, unrelenting wit and a tendency to tell it exactly how it is. It’s something that Toni most definitely can appreciate, and it didn't take long for the two of them to become friends.

And being friends with Fatin means making some really stupid fucking decisions.

“Toni,” the other girl whines. “It’ll be fun. You know that family friend I was telling you about? He’s throwing a party at his place this Saturday.”

“The one with the big ass fucking mansion?”

“The one with the big ass fucking mansion,” Fatin confirms. “You’ve had a long week, haven’t you? Blow off some steam. Plus,” she wiggles her eyebrows, and Toni grimaces at the sight. “Mariah’s been asking about you.” 

“No,” Toni says flatly. “Tell her to fuck off.”

“Tell her yourself,” Fatin responds, knowing Toni would do no such thing. “She’ll be at the party on Saturday. Do you know how many times she asked me if you were coming?”

Toni feels like tearing her hair out. “Dude, it was weeks ago.”

“Guess you make an impression,” Fatin grins lecherously. “Come on, don’t tell me you’re not into her. The way you guys were going at it the party, it looked like you were seconds away from ripping off each other’s clothes and doing it right then and there.”

Toni rolls her eyes. Fatin’s tendency to be dramatic is usually amusing, but right now is not one of those times. “Like I already told you, it didn’t mean anything.” Mariah is definitely cute, but all they’d done is make out a couple of times at parties, and once Toni met Shelby, Mariah has barely crossed her mind once.

Fatin raises an eyebrow. “Who says it has to mean anything?" 

“Get it through that thick head of yours,” Toni says, annoyed. “I’m not looking to get involved with anyone right now.” 

“It’s just sex,” Fatin says flippantly. “It's not like you're getting married.” Her voices softens for a moment, and she looks at Toni imploringly. "Look, I'm just worried about you, okay? I know how tough this suspension's been on you, and sometimes the best way to get your mind off of things is by messing around with someone."

Toni scoffs, but she's secretly touched by the other girl's concern. "Not everyone's like you, Fatin."

"And thank god for it," Fatin winks at her. Her phone buzzes, and she checks it quickly before frowning. “I gotta go. But I’ll text you the details about the party; I know there’s no way in hell kickboxing releases that frustration the same way some girl-on-girl action does.” She walks off, and Toni hears her say a brisk “hey, Shelby” as she leaves. Toni whips around and sees said girl standing a couple feet behind her, a bunch of plastic containers in hand and a blank expression on her face. “Hey,” she says, wondering how much of that Shelby had heard. 

“Hey,” Shelby says emotionlessly. 

“You good?” Toni asks, amused. The other girl’s movements are jerky, almost robotic as she moves forward. 

“Yeah,” Shelby studiously avoids her gaze as she begins setting the containers in. “Excuse me.” 

Toni moves slightly to the side, a gnawing suspicion starting to grow in her stomach. “How much of that did you hear?” she asks bluntly. 

Shelby’s eyes immediately shoot up before looking back down just as quickly. “Not much.”

“Shelby,” Toni sighs. She’s so not in the mood for this, but she’s also not going to leave their conversation like that, especially after how well they got along today. “Just tell me.” 

Something flashes through Shelby’s eyes, and suddenly she meets Toni’s gaze fiercely, a stark contrast from only moments ago. “Are you gay?” she says flatly. 

Toni stares at her, shocked. “Am I what?”

“Are you gay?” The hard edge to Shelby’s voice disappears, as though realizing what she’s said, and she backtracks slightly. “You know what, you don’t have to answer that-”

“Yes, I’m fucking gay,” Toni leans forward, unable to believe they’re having this conversation right now. “What’s your fucking problem?”

Shelby bites her lip and shakes her head, tossing in the last of the containers before walking away so fast she’s practically running. Toni stares after her, wondering what the fuck had just happened, wondering if the girl that she likes is an actual fucking homophobe. 

This just couldn’t get any better, could it?


End file.
